I realized today that it is going to take some time for me to get adjusted to working with four year olds.
They do not know how to line up, much less what a line should look like. My students swerved through the hallways, stomping and laughing from point A to B.
Four year olds also cannot comprehend the point of raising hands. They flail their arms in the air, yelling the answers at the top of their lungs.
Ahh...four year old children. Such a big jump from the hormonal pre-teens I worked with over the past few years.
But, I love them nonetheless.
They give hugs when they leave school and sincerely can't wait to come back the next day.
They laugh a lot. Make silly faces. Speak incoherently.
It is going to be a good year. I can feel it already! :)
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
For the love.
On this exact day for the last five years, I was in Iowa beginning a new semester of classes. Meeting new people. Living with friends. Reading massive numbers of books. Thinking. Conversing. Debating. Learning.
Now, here I am. At home. On the couch. With basically the exact same job I had in high school.
And, I find myself missing the former.
I miss classes. I really do! Expanding my mind. Learning about the world and all the wonderfully beautiful people who live in it.
I miss living in an apartment with three to five other girls. Sharing one bathroom. Dancing in the living room. Talking. Always talking.
I miss the unconditional acceptance that I not only felt but truly believed was there for me. The wholehearted, carefree manner in which I could be myself - truly myself - and know that, despite every one of my inadeqacies, I would still be loved and valued.
I miss you, friends! You changed my life for the better.
Now, here I am. At home. On the couch. With basically the exact same job I had in high school.
And, I find myself missing the former.
I miss classes. I really do! Expanding my mind. Learning about the world and all the wonderfully beautiful people who live in it.
I miss living in an apartment with three to five other girls. Sharing one bathroom. Dancing in the living room. Talking. Always talking.
I miss the unconditional acceptance that I not only felt but truly believed was there for me. The wholehearted, carefree manner in which I could be myself - truly myself - and know that, despite every one of my inadeqacies, I would still be loved and valued.
I miss you, friends! You changed my life for the better.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Life.
My life finally has some sort of direction. Employment has arrived via good ol' Kidstop once again. This time I will be an assistant preschool teacher with a group of 14 4-year olds. It's bound to be an exciting adventure, to say the least! And, it will hopefully give me a good 9-12 months to figure out my next move...whether that be teaching or going back to school. For the latter, I am looking into school counseling. We'll see where God takes me over the next year; it's certain to be one exciting trip!
As for my summer jobs, I have come to realize that I learned a lot over the past 3 months...
1. How to iron perler beads so that any and every shape comes out in one piece!
2. How to tell if a student has really put sunscreen on his face. Or has actually washed her hands.
3. How to smell if milk is sour and then explain why it happened even though that particular carton doesn't expire for another three days!
4. How to cheat on Rock Band to open all the songs! Oh, yeah!
5. How to 'chip' and do 'trick shots' in bumper pool.
6. How to effectively wear a field trip t-shirt three days in a row.
7. How to get sick of the Jonas Brothers really fast: listen to 'Burning Up' on repeat for a billion hours straight!
8. How to wake up with White Tea!
There's so much more. I'll have to write a sequel to this list as soon as I've been able to more thoroughly process this summer.
So, life moves on. One day at a time. And, I find myself wishing summer would never end. Reminiscing about college. Missing my friends. Wanting to live closer to Alex. Wallowing in apathy. Procrastinating summer camp plans. Needing a solid routine. Freaking out about loans and bills. Wanting to enjoy the beautiful things in life. Praying to see God again like I used to.
As for my summer jobs, I have come to realize that I learned a lot over the past 3 months...
1. How to iron perler beads so that any and every shape comes out in one piece!
2. How to tell if a student has really put sunscreen on his face. Or has actually washed her hands.
3. How to smell if milk is sour and then explain why it happened even though that particular carton doesn't expire for another three days!
4. How to cheat on Rock Band to open all the songs! Oh, yeah!
5. How to 'chip' and do 'trick shots' in bumper pool.
6. How to effectively wear a field trip t-shirt three days in a row.
7. How to get sick of the Jonas Brothers really fast: listen to 'Burning Up' on repeat for a billion hours straight!
8. How to wake up with White Tea!
There's so much more. I'll have to write a sequel to this list as soon as I've been able to more thoroughly process this summer.
So, life moves on. One day at a time. And, I find myself wishing summer would never end. Reminiscing about college. Missing my friends. Wanting to live closer to Alex. Wallowing in apathy. Procrastinating summer camp plans. Needing a solid routine. Freaking out about loans and bills. Wanting to enjoy the beautiful things in life. Praying to see God again like I used to.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Music Changes.
Below are the lyrics to a song I heard today. I'm obsessed with the lyrics. They are powerful.
Brandon Heath: Give Me Your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work
He’s buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
I’ve been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
Brandon Heath: Give Me Your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He’s out of work
He’s buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?
I’ve been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
yeah .. yeah .. yeah .. yeah
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Music.
I heard this song today and fell in love with it once again.
The pathway is broken And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley If You want me to
No I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley If You want me to
No I'm not who I was When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will walk through the darkness If You want me to
When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
Ginny Owens
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Summer employment.
A day in my life as a Kidstop Instructor:
5:55am: Wake up. Brush teeth and maybe hair. Put on minimal makeup.
6:20am: Run out the door.
6:45am: Enter the Cosmic Club zone. Play a little Rock Band. Brush up on Dance, Dance Revolution. Play some handheld yahtzee.
7:30am: Scold Alex for cheating (yet again) at bumper pool.
7:45am: Play a rowdy game of Apples to Apples with the not-so-serious 5th grade girls.
8:00am: Enjoy a free breakfast (which is hopefully, if your luck is good, breakfast pizza)!!!
8:30am: Take attendance. Then return to the room for a half hour of "controlled" chaos.
9:00am: Lead an activity. Art, gym, or group game.
9:45am: Free time. Play 'director' and DJ as groups practice their lip-sync acts. Laugh a lot.
10:30am: Assist with an activity.
11:15am: More free time!! Play board games and chat with the 7th grade girls.
12:00pm: Eat lunch with the kids.
12:30pm: Drive home with the radio on and the windows open.
5:55am: Wake up. Brush teeth and maybe hair. Put on minimal makeup.
6:20am: Run out the door.
6:45am: Enter the Cosmic Club zone. Play a little Rock Band. Brush up on Dance, Dance Revolution. Play some handheld yahtzee.
7:30am: Scold Alex for cheating (yet again) at bumper pool.
7:45am: Play a rowdy game of Apples to Apples with the not-so-serious 5th grade girls.
8:00am: Enjoy a free breakfast (which is hopefully, if your luck is good, breakfast pizza)!!!
8:30am: Take attendance. Then return to the room for a half hour of "controlled" chaos.
9:00am: Lead an activity. Art, gym, or group game.
9:45am: Free time. Play 'director' and DJ as groups practice their lip-sync acts. Laugh a lot.
10:30am: Assist with an activity.
11:15am: More free time!! Play board games and chat with the 7th grade girls.
12:00pm: Eat lunch with the kids.
12:30pm: Drive home with the radio on and the windows open.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Enough.
The opposite of poverty is not wealth.
The opposite of poverty is enough.
I read this statement on a website today and got to thinking. About my life. My belongings. My spending habits. Me. Me. Me.
Then I started to wonder how it is that I have become so self-centered. Why don't I care about my family, friends, neighbors? Why do I consistently worry about my own journey through life and not the struggle that many others face each and every day? Why have I fallen into the trap of consumerism and feel that I am entitled to buy whatever I want or need whenever I have the whim to do so? Why do I consider my money to be my own? Why did I just buy another pair of shoes that will inevitably be thrown or given away within the next year when there are countless children in the world who don't have any shoes at all? Why...
After all these thoughts tumbled around in my head, I began to question the words I use and the statements I make about poverty, money, compassion. Do I really care about those in need? Do I really want to change my lifestyle so that others can change theirs? Do I really see and love others as Christ does...pain and all? Or is it all meaningless rhetoric meant to make me look kind when I am not.
These thoughts are painful. It is like finding a mask on your own face. A mask that you wish could remain but that you must take off to truly encounter yourself and the world. This mask screams hypocrisy.
Now I am left wondering where to go from here. How can I learn to be content and joyful with what I have and who I am without wanting more?
How can I see that I have enough and others do not, genuinely care about this problem, and move forward pragmatically to affect small changes where I can?
The opposite of poverty is enough.
I read this statement on a website today and got to thinking. About my life. My belongings. My spending habits. Me. Me. Me.
Then I started to wonder how it is that I have become so self-centered. Why don't I care about my family, friends, neighbors? Why do I consistently worry about my own journey through life and not the struggle that many others face each and every day? Why have I fallen into the trap of consumerism and feel that I am entitled to buy whatever I want or need whenever I have the whim to do so? Why do I consider my money to be my own? Why did I just buy another pair of shoes that will inevitably be thrown or given away within the next year when there are countless children in the world who don't have any shoes at all? Why...
After all these thoughts tumbled around in my head, I began to question the words I use and the statements I make about poverty, money, compassion. Do I really care about those in need? Do I really want to change my lifestyle so that others can change theirs? Do I really see and love others as Christ does...pain and all? Or is it all meaningless rhetoric meant to make me look kind when I am not.
These thoughts are painful. It is like finding a mask on your own face. A mask that you wish could remain but that you must take off to truly encounter yourself and the world. This mask screams hypocrisy.
Now I am left wondering where to go from here. How can I learn to be content and joyful with what I have and who I am without wanting more?
How can I see that I have enough and others do not, genuinely care about this problem, and move forward pragmatically to affect small changes where I can?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)