Break my heart.

She has to move. Again. Just when she has finally adjusted to a new school, new friends, a new schedule, she has to move. Mom can't afford to live here anymore. They have to move.

My heart breaks.

He has a scratch. Again. Where did that come from, I ask. Shoulders shrug. No answer. He has another scratch.

My heart breaks.

They have a friend with leukemia. Again. Treatment begins. Hair falls out. Stage four. They have leukemia.

My heart breaks.

She has a rough start to the morning. Again. Mom was upset. Dad yelled at her. Her eyes are weary. She has a rough start.

My heart breaks.

Her shoes were taken. Again. She tells the teacher. The shoes are returned. They took her shoes.

My heart breaks.

12 months.

A lot has changed in the past year. And, I think that reflecting on these changes will help me appreciate them more fully.

So, in the past year I ...
* graduated from college.
* met Alex.
* began my first real job (as a 6th grade teacher).
* lost 15 pounds.
* moved in with the amazing Barker family.
* began paying back school loans.
* learned to love my cell phone.
* feared for my life on country roads.
* said goodbye to some of my closest friends at NWC.
* lost the desire to teach.
* moved back home.
* returned to my 'home' church.
* worked in a new school with new kids for the summer.
* made a variety of new friends in Faribault.
* began a new job in a preschool.
* found new roommates to live with.
* put thousands of miles on my car.
* cried more than I had in the previous 23 years.
* ...

In looking back, I can see God clearly moving, although not always (actually, rarely ever...) in the way I expected. He is so faithful, even when I so clearly do not deserve it. It is refreshing to know that despite all I do, God will never leave me. His love will NEVER leave me.

This leaves me excited for the new year ahead. I anticipate many changes and difficult decisions to be made. But, I know that God WILL be faithful to lead me, just as He has done in the past.

Politics.

Politics through the eyes of preschoolers!

"Who did you vote for: McDonalds or Okabama?"

"Did you vote for John McCain? I hope he wins so he won't give us more taxes. Then my mom will have more money to buy me toys!"

"Are you voting for Dora Coleman?"

"I voted today." Where? "At Mall of America." For whom? "My mom and dad."

"Barack Obama. He's the one."

Other kids:

First grade: "You look just like Sarah Palin!"

Kindergarten: "I hope Obama wins because my mom says we need some more color up there in that white house!"

Adorable.

Nathan points to a group of second graders sitting in the cafeteria. "That's my kid over there," he says proudly. Seeing the crowd I ask, "Which one?" Nathan replies, "The kid with the black shirt. The one with the head, [pause] the ears, [pause] and the neck." Ahh, yes. That one! :)

Love.

I never expected to love four year old children ... much less absolutely love working with them everday. Excitement builds every morning as I drive to work. Laughter sustains me throughout the day. Peace radiates through my mind as I drive home. It's so wonderful, this pure joy that I experience.

On a less dramatic note, our 14 kids are adorable. They say some of the craziest, funniest things: Things that make any and all frustrating moments worth while.

A day in preschool:
* Naked children who don't realize that they can only change in the bathroom!
* Unofficial birthday party invitations.
* Grimy hands and runny noses.
* Little mouths blowing on the whistle hanging from my lanyard.
* Lots and lots of hugs!

Cute quotes:
* "Ms. Stromgren, will you pet me?" Yes, I will rub your back!
* Looking at my co-worker's lunch of oatmeal: "Ooh. I just love porridge!"
* In a distinctly southern accent: "I just really love apple pie! Yep. That's what I've been thinking about lately." Keep in mind this is a young boy of distinctly scandinavian heritage!
* During story time when the kids are supposed to sit quietly [criss-cross apple sauce], Nathan stands up and walks to my side. "Ms. Stromgren, I love you!" He quietly returns to his seat with a little grin.
* Arms spread wide, head facing the ceiling, Nick whines: "Ms. Stromgren, I just want a hug!"

I have so many more pictures and stories that I'd love to share. So, more to come!

Preschool.

I realized today that it is going to take some time for me to get adjusted to working with four year olds.

They do not know how to line up, much less what a line should look like. My students swerved through the hallways, stomping and laughing from point A to B.

Four year olds also cannot comprehend the point of raising hands. They flail their arms in the air, yelling the answers at the top of their lungs.

Ahh...four year old children. Such a big jump from the hormonal pre-teens I worked with over the past few years.

But, I love them nonetheless.

They give hugs when they leave school and sincerely can't wait to come back the next day.

They laugh a lot. Make silly faces. Speak incoherently.

It is going to be a good year. I can feel it already! :)

For the love.

On this exact day for the last five years, I was in Iowa beginning a new semester of classes. Meeting new people. Living with friends. Reading massive numbers of books. Thinking. Conversing. Debating. Learning.

Now, here I am. At home. On the couch. With basically the exact same job I had in high school.

And, I find myself missing the former.

I miss classes. I really do! Expanding my mind. Learning about the world and all the wonderfully beautiful people who live in it.

I miss living in an apartment with three to five other girls. Sharing one bathroom. Dancing in the living room. Talking. Always talking.

I miss the unconditional acceptance that I not only felt but truly believed was there for me. The wholehearted, carefree manner in which I could be myself - truly myself - and know that, despite every one of my inadeqacies, I would still be loved and valued.

I miss you, friends! You changed my life for the better.